Cereta's Web: Aiding and Abetting II: Guardian ad Litem

Aiding and Abetting II: Guardian ad Litem
by Lucy Gillam

Dick adjusted his jacket for the fourth time as he rode up the elevator. He'd never really been a fidgeter (a mover, yes, but not a fidgeter), but this was a unique situation.

Selina had been calm enough when he'd called her. She knew, of course, that the No Man's Land edict had been lifted, that Gotham would be rebuilt, and that people were beginning to come and go from the city. She'd been waiting, patiently, for him to contact her, and was quite agreeable to coming to Metropolis to meet him. She hadn't even commented when he suggested he just come to her hotel room, thus neatly avoiding meeting in costume.

No wonder he was fidgeting.

He straightened his shirt again. It was almost weird, wearing civvies after so long. He'd slowly begun to acquire a wardrobe. He'd bought the jeans and shirt he was wearing only a few hours ago, when he'd finally been able to access one of his accounts at a Metropolis branch and go shopping. For some reason, it was very important to him that he not meet Selina in clothes Bruce had bought him.

All too soon, he was standing in front of Suite 1541. He took a deep breath, and knocked--

--and was promptly pulled inside and hugged within an inch of his life. At the familiar smell of her perfume, something inside him let go.

Selina pulled back but did not let go, instead whacking him hard in the shoulder. "You! A few more days, you said! I should kick you! I should kick him!"

"I did call," he protested weakly, and yes, he really had earned the look she gave him in response.

Finally, she sighed and ruffled his hair, then went to the suite's miniature refrigerator. When she handed him a bottle of Bass, he thought he might actually cry.

"I thought it might have been a while since you'd had one." She handed him a bottle opener and went to sit on the tastefully understated sofa, reaching for her own glass of wine as she sat down. "Now," she said, "why don't you tell me you're not coming with me."

Dick had been with her too long to drink while she was talking, and so avoided spitting beer all over his new clothes. And in truth, he wasn't really all that surprised that she knew. She always knew.

"I do hear things, sweetie," she said gently. "Even with the city blockaded, word did get out about various things, especially things about Batman. Not, I'm sure, the full story, but then I had inside information there, didn't I?"

He'd rehearsed what to say a dozen times, and none of it seemed to work. "I… Selina…"

She shook her head. "Oh, sweetie. I'm not going to say I always knew this would happen, because I didn't. But I did always know there was a chance you'd find something else." She smiled sadly. "I almost wish I could think it were just about him. But you're right, I did raise you better than that. And to think," she sighed, "I was worried you'd talk yourself into settling down in some boring day job. Now that? Would have been a tragedy."

Dick frowned. "You're taking this awfully well."

She smiled. It wasn't an entirely pleasant smile. "Oh, I have some things to say. But not to you."

Oh. Oh, that did not make him feel better about what he had to say next. "Um…on that subject. He wants to meet with you."

That earned a raised eyebrow. "Really? How refreshingly…social of him."

Dick nodded. He didn't see any need to mention that Bruce had only suggested it after Dick very carefully and patiently explained that he couldn't very well lie to one of the two most important people in his life about the identity of the other. To his eternal surprise, Bruce had merely nodded and asked him to arrange a meeting.

A meeting between Batman and Catwoman. One that Dick wasn't allowed to come to.

They were going to kill each other.

Dick took a very long swallow of his beer. "I'll, um, give you directions. I'm sure he would have let you pick the place, but he had some...special requirements."

Selina smiled her best not-buying-it-for-a-moment smile, and then sighed. "Dick, just tell me one thing. I probably shouldn't need to ask it, but I do: are you happy with him?"

Dick smiled, knowing it probably looked goofy, and not caring. "Yeah. I am."

~~~

Most people would not believe that Batman could be nervous.

Oh, they'd believe it of Bruce Wayne, vacuous twit that he was (or at least appeared to be), but the Batman? Few would believe he could feel fear, let alone something as mundane as nervousness.

And yet, here he was, in a building he'd carefully chosen for privacy, even asking Clark for advice on where he could meet Catwoman without risk of being observed or disturbed, feeling like a man…

Like a man about to meet his in-laws for the first time.

Which was silly, of course, because he'd met her before. Once upon a time he'd known Selina Kyle...quite well.

Okay, that thought wasn't helping.

He heard the squeak of a window opening and the barely-perceptible sound of someone landing behind him. Clark had assured him that the Planet had no security here, and in fact almost never used the building since they'd moved storage to a new facility. It was as close to secure as he could manage without demanding Catwoman come to Gotham, which Dick had assured him would not go over well.

"I suppose I should congratulate you," she said in a voice surprisingly free of bitterness. "Although whether for reforming the criminal or just getting him, I don't know."

He turned to face her. "I don't suppose you'd believe I didn't plan it."

She gave a sarcastic chuckle. "Actually, I almost would. If only because I don't think even you would have arranged an earthquake just to snare one thief with his own conscience."

"He chose to stay. I even told him to leave, months ago." He managed, just barely, not to sound defensive. Dick was a grown man who had made his own choices. Batman didn't need to justify them.

"I'm sure you did, which just goes to show how little you knew him. He never could just walk away when someone needed help right in front of his eyes."

"Would you have wanted him to?"

"Of course not." She laughed again. "You know the irony of all of this? You could have had him years ago. He would have treated it as a lovely adventure, probably broken your heart, and walked away-- and I stopped him. I sent him away, just long enough to keep that from happening." She looked away. "Really outsmarted myself there."

Batman resisted the urge to apologize. He knew this had to be causing her very real pain, but he couldn't honestly say he was sorry for any of it.

Finally, she looked back at him. "So. You wanted this meeting, so I assume you have something to say to me. Are you going to warn me to stay away from him? Maybe loom over me for a bit?"

"No. I wouldn't do that to him, and he wouldn't let me if I tried." If the second statement was a bit truer than the first, she didn't need to know that. And really, the first wasn't true, either. Usually.

"What, then? I can't believe you just wanted to have a friendly chat."

Batman took a deep breath. He'd agreed to this, known Dick was right about its necessity, trusted him when he said Selina would keep the secret. He pulled back his mask, and waited.

He let the punch land, moving only enough so that it wouldn't actually break his jaw.

She was taking it better than he'd expected.

"You son of a bitch," she snarled. "You? You?" She moved as if to hit him again, but instead turned away. "You know, I should have known. All those cancelled dates, all the times you ran out on me, and then you were just as annoying when I'd see Batman, and…God."

"Selina…" He stopped, because really, what could he say? That he hadn't meant to deceive her? Hardly true. That he regretted how things turned out? Once, maybe, but not now.

"I don't believe this, I really don't. You completely fail to make things work with me in or out of the mask, and now you're sleeping with a boy I raised. He does know, doesn't he?"

Bruce nodded.

She laughed bitterly. "Did you at least tell him before you slept with him?" When he nodded again, she said, "Good. He deserves that."

That it was better than he'd treated her remained unsaid.

She stood silently for a moment, chewing on her lower lip in a way that reminded Bruce so strongly of Dick that he was almost disoriented.

"Just tell me one thing, Bruce," she said finally. "Did I mean anything to you, or was it just some kind of…cover? Thrill? Both?"

"Yes, you did," he said, feeling more gentle than he sounded, but not wanting to further irritate her already bruised ego. "And…he shares some of your qualities. You said it yourself: I fell in love with someone you raised."

It wasn't until she looked at him sharply that he realized, with a slight shock, what he had just said.

The anger seemed to drain out of her. "He'll need to hear that sometimes, you know. Not the raised by me part, although it couldn't hurt to remind him of that from time to time. The other part."

He nodded. He wasn't sure how good he'd be at it, but he'd take the advice where he could. "Selina, about this." He gestured towards his face, and she waved dismissively.

"Please. Even if I would do that to you, and yes, right now, it's very tempting, I wouldn't do that to him." She took a deep breath. "I'll tell him this myself, but you should know, too. I'll stay away from Gotham. At least for a while, and at least as Catwoman. It wouldn't be fair to put him in that position." He nodded, and her eyes narrowed. "I expect you to do your part with that, as well."

"I'll try." And he would, if for no other reason that he wasn't sure what Dick would do if forced to choose between him and Selina, and he wasn't brave enough to find out.

She nodded again. "In that case, there's just one other thing. You probably know what it is, but I'm going to say it anyway. If you ever hurt him, either deliberately or just by being the idiot I know you're fully capable of being, the entire Justice League will not be enough to protect you from me. Do you understand?"

"I understand," he replied without a hint of condescension. Because really, he believed her.

"Good. Just for variety's sake," she added with a smile that was faintly laced with her familiar mockery, "I'll leave first this time."

She climbed out the same high window she'd entered through. Bruce waited until she was gone to pull up the mask.

He rubbed his jaw. That had gone better than he expected.